Carry On Nurse (1959)
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Celebrating twenty years of classic Carry On films, two of the filmsâ best-loved stars, Kenneth Williams and Barbara Windsor return to Pinewood film studios to unwrap some rib-tickling moments from the series. From the original, military mayhem of Carry On Sergeant, through to the really ancient archaeological gags of Carry On Behind, our saucy hosts get their titters out for this laugh-a-second gallop through the most successful series of British comedy films ever made.
Prepare for Six of the Best as the Carry On team cause chaos in the school yard. When a well-loved headmaster decides to retire, his scheming pupils have other ideas. The cunning boys unleash a campaign of practical jokes, armed with gin, itching power and bombs! No one is safe from the classroom havoc in this Carry On starring all the regulars including the immortal Kenneth Williams, Charl
A group of holidaymakers head for the Spanish resort of Elsbels for a 4-day visit. When they get there, they find the Hotel still hasn't been finished being built, and the weather is awful. And there is something strange about the staff. They all look very similar. To top it all off, the weather seems to be having an adverse affect on the Hotel's foundations...
A gang of thieves plan to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan. The hypochondriac consultant Sir Bernard Cutting, Matron and the doctors and nurses at Finisham have a habit of getting in the way.
This film is a Hong Kong version of the British Carry On films, this one specifically set in a hospital. The hospital is full of inept people, so Miss Kuk (Meg Lam) vows to the board that she will reform it. This involves the recruitment of student nurses, keeping in check some silly interns and dealing with Dr. Chen, whose wife just left him.
Stodge City is in the grip of the Rumpo Kid and his gang. Mistaken identity again takes a hand as a "sanitary engineer" (plumber) by the name of Marshal P. Knutt is mistaken for a law marshal! Being the conscientious sort, Marshal tries to help the town get rid of Rumpo, and a showdown is inevitable. Marshal has two aids - revenge-seeking Annie Oakley and his sanitary expertise
Carry On favourite Barbara Windsor makes her debut in this outrageous send-up of the James Bond movies. Fearless agent Desmond Simpkins and James Bind, aided and abetted by the comely Agent Honeybutt and Agent Crump, battle against the evil powers of international bad guys STENCH and their three cronies.
The sinister Dr Watt has an evil scheme going. He's kidnapping beautiful young women and turning them into mannequins to sell to local stores. Fortunately for Dr Watt, Detective-Sergeant Bung is on the case, and he doesn't have a clue! In this send up of the Hammer Horror movies, there are send-ups of all the horror greats from Frankenstein to Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde.
A shy nurse is bitten by a zombie and becomes a flesh eating sex kitten. GRAVEYARD ALIVE is a cross between 1920's German Expressionism and 1960's B-horror films. Shot in and around the Montreal area, this is Bastard Amber Production's first full-length feature. The story follows Patsy, a lonely, dreamy nurse who, after being bitten by a zombie, becomes a sex-kitten. With her newfound powers, she tries to win back her old flame, the suave and handsome Dr. Dox, from Goodie , a bitchy young nurse. As the film progresses, Patsy must also learn to deal with her new affliction and to live her life, no longer in her romantic dream world, but in a harsher yet ultimately more satisfying reality. Shot in Techniscope with a 1:2.35 aspect ratio, an old process used in many 1960's films such as Dario Argento's "The Cat O' Nine Tails", GRAVEYARD ALIVE promises to invigorate the horror genre stylistically as well as with its audacious and thought-provoking content.
Henry VIII has just married Marie of Normandy, and is eager to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately for Henry, she is always eating garlic, and refuses to stop. Deciding to get rid of her in his usual manner, Henry has to find some way of doing it without provoking war with Marie's cousin, the King of France. Perhaps if she had an affair...
With a flu epidemic running rife, three new bumbling recruits are assigned to Inspector Mills police station. With help from Special Constable Gorse, they manage to totally wreck the operations of the police force and let plenty of criminals get away, even before they arrive at the station. They all have to prove themselves or else they'll be out of a job and Sergeant Wilkins will be transferred. Sub-plots include romances between Wilkins and Moon, Constable and Passworthy.
The sweet and perky Barbara, the sunny Janis, and the responsible Sandra are a trio of young and attractive nurses who work in the psych ward at a hospital. The threesome really have their hands full dealing with nutty patients, creepy stalkers, and black revolutionaries
Jacobowsky, a Jewish refugee, flees from the Nazis with an aristocratic, anti-semitic Polish officer trying to get papers to England. Jurgens learns to appreciate Jacobowsky, despite their competition for the same woman, and together they outwit their pursuers
It's non stop romps as the Carry On team deliver the goods in one of the rudest and funniest of the Carry On films. The cast are all on top form as a bunch of no-hoppers who join an agency in the search for a job. The anarchy mounts as they do a series of odd jobs, including a chimps tea party, trying to stay sober at a wine tasting and demolishing a house.
Fall in for the first ever film in the highly successful Carry On comedy series - now an acclaimed British institution. Kenneth Connor and Charles Hawtrey are the prankish misfits who become the hilarious bane of Army Officers existence when he makes a bet he will turn them into 'Star Squad' Award soldiers - or bust!
Two Britons are captured and enslaved by invading Romans and taken to Rome. Hengist Pod creates useless inventions, while Horsa is a brave and cunning fighter. One of their first encounters in Rome leaves Hengist being mistaken for a fighter, and gets drafted into the Royal Guard to protect Cleopatra. Cleo doesn't want him around and plots for his sudden demise...
Sid and Bernie keep having their amorous intentions snubbed by their girlfriends Joan and Anthea, so when they decide to take them on a holiday to Paradise Camp, they think they're off to a nudist colony - but they couldn't be more wrong, and meet up with the weirdest bunch of campers you can imagine! Coach-loads of sex-starved schoolgirls and a party of hippies all add to the laughs.
Captain S. Melly takes over as the new Commanding Officer at an experimental mixed sex air defence base. It's 1940 and England is under heavy bombardment, but the crew seem more interested in each other than the enemy planes above. Captain Melly plans to put a stop to all this, and becomes the target of a campaign to abandon his separatist ideals...
Dick Turpin is terrorising the countryside around Upper Dencher. Captain Fancey and Sergeant Jock Strapp plan to put an end to his escapades, and enlist the help of the Reverend Flasher. Little do they know that the priest leads a double life. Then Madame Desiree and her "Birds of Paradise" arrive in the village...
When Dr. Robert "Sweeney" Todd arrives to fill his post at a new hospital, he is shocked to see the lengths that the nurses go to in caring for their patients.
Speedee Taxis is a great success, which means its workaholic owner Charlie starts neglecting Peggy, his wife. Suddenly a fleet of rival taxis appears from nowhere and start pinching all the fares. The rivals are Glamcabs, and they have a secret weapon. All their drivers are very attractive women! Who's behind Glamcabs? It's open warfare and only one fleet can survive!
What happens when a person decides that life is merely a state of mind? If you're Betty, a small-town waitress and soap opera fan from Fair Oaks, Kansas, you refuse to believe that you can't be with the love of your life just because he doesn't really exist. After all, life is no excuse for not living. Traumatized by a savage event, Betty enters into a fugue state that allows -- even encourages -- her to keep functioning... in a kind of alternate reality.
Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond looks after the British outpost near the Khybar pass. Protected by the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment, you would think they were safe. But the Khazi of Kalabar has other ideas. He wants all the British dead! But his troops fear the "skirted-devils"; they are rumoured not to wear anything underneath. Then one is caught with his pants on...
Francis Bigger, a notorious charlatan who tours the country lecturing on the subject of mind over matter, slips off the platform in the middle of his performance and ends up in hospital under the care of Dr Tinkle. The hospital is about to enter a period of total chaos. The regular Carry On team is joined by Frankie Howerd as the fraudulent Francis in this 'bed-panorama of hospital life'.
Dr Nookey is disgraced and sent to a remote island hospital. He is given a secret slimming potion by a member of staff, Gladstone Screwer, and he flies back to England to fame and fortune. But others want to cash in on his good fortunes, and some just want him brought down a peg or two.
The Carry On team send up the Tarzan tradition in great style. Lady Evelyn Bagley mounts an expedition to find her long-lost baby. Bill Boosey is the fearless hunter and guide. Prof. Tinkle is searching for the rare Oozalum bird. Everything is going swimmingly until a gorilla enters the camp, and then the party is captured by an all female tribe from Aphrodisia... Written by Simon N. McIntosh-Smit
The beautiful and sex-starved Emmannuelle Prevert just cannot inflame her husband's ardour. In frustration she seduces a string of VIPs, including the Prime Minister and the American Ambassador. A jealous lover gives a list of all her conquests to the national press and a scandal ensues. But will she ever manage to get her own husband into bed?
Bertram Oliphant West (also known as Bo West) wants to clear his unjustly smeared reputation. He joins the Foreign Legion, with Simpson his manservant in tow. But the fort they get posted to is full of eccentric legionnaires, and there is trouble brewing with the locals too. Unbeknown to Bo, his lady love has followed him in disguise...
The Wedded Bliss computer dating agency aims to bring together the lonely hearts of Much-Snoggin-in-the-Green. Its owner, Sidney Bliss, has enough complications in his own love life, but still produces a pamphlet called "The Wit to Woo". The strange collection of hopefuls lead to some outlandish matches, and jealousies are bound to lead to trouble
Professors Vrooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the film ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.
This is the tale of industrial strife at WC Boggs' Lavatory factory. Vic Spanner is the union representative who calls a strike at the drop of a hat; eventually everyone has to get fed up with him. This is also the ideal opportunity for lots of lavatorial jokes...
Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.
Two unforeseen problems meant that many fans consider this the weakest Christmas special. Firstly, Talbot Rothwell became ill whilst writing the script, and was unable to finish it. Dave Freeman had to be brought in to complete the script, but the two men did not work together. As a result, the script does not flow as easily as the earlier offerings. Secondly, Charles Hawtrey pulled out of the special at short notice. Having taken third billing to Sid James and Terry Scott in the previous two shows, and knowing they would both be absent, Hawtrey demanded top billing. But Carry On producer Peter Rogers refused, giving top billing to Hattie Jacques instead. Hawtrey's role had hastily to be recast, and was split between Norman Rossington and Brian Oulton, both of whom had played cameo roles in several Carry On films. The special featured a collection of historical sketches, loosely linked around an 18th-century banquet.
Christopher Columbus believes he can find an alternative route to the far East and persuades the King and Queen of Spain to finance his expedition...
Local councillor Sidney Fiddler persuades the Mayor to help improve the image of their rundown seaside town by holding a beauty contest. But formidable Councillor Prodworthy, head of the local women's liberation movement, has other ideas. It's open warfare as the women's lib attempt to sabotage the contest.
The time of the French revolution, and Citizen Robespierre is beheading the French aristocracy. When word gets to England, two noblemen, Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy take it upon themselves to aid their French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes "the black fingernail", scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police...
From the director of âMade In Americaâ and âThe Money Pitâ comes a hilarious look at one of the most expensive blunders in military history. Over 17 years and almost as many billion dollars have gone into devising the BFV (Bradley Fighting Vehicle). There's only one problem. . . it doesn't work.
Dramatisation of the love affair between Sidney James and Barbara Windsor, played out against the backdrop of the 'Carry On' films during the 1960s and 1970s.
It has taken 10 years, two little Fockers with wife Pam and countless hurdles for Greg to finally get in with his tightly wound father-in-law, Jack. After the cash-strapped dad takes a job moonlighting for a drug company, Jack's suspicions about his favorite male nurse come roaring back. When Greg and Pam's entire clan descends for the twins' birthday party, Greg must prove to the skeptical Jack that he's fully capable as the man of the house.
With 'little captain' Cambrai raising serious doubts about the reality of the so-called "super spy", Colonel Toulouse kidnaps Christine and forces Francois to play again the character of "The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe" in some fake adventures. All this to stop the investigation into the death of Colonel Milan.
After Elizabeth's husband dies, she begins to play her tenor saxophone again, and remembers when she was 15 and a member of the Blonde Bombshells, an all-girl (with one exception) swing band. Accompanied by the exception and urged on by her grand-daughter, Elizabeth hunts up all the old members of the band and urges them to perform, and in doing so, learns more than she knew about the band, its members, the roses on the drum set, and herself--the last of the Blonde Bombshells.
Lady Marjorie Donegal becomes a nurse in hospital, much to the dismay of her aristocratic family. She falls in love with one of her patients, a commoner labor leader.
K. Jhunjhunwala would like to locate his missing/runaway daughter, Seema Malhotra, so that he can get her married to Nitin Dharampal; Prominent businessman, Mahindra, would like to negotiate with his daughter, Sonu's kidnappers, and secure her release. And the Central Bureau of Investigation would like to protect the life of Chief Minister Gayetri Bachchan under the mission code-named "Maa", and the CBI Officer in Charge to be code-named "Baadshah". Now Baadshah happens to be a bumbling and out of work Private Investigator, who has agreed to assist Jhunjhunwala and Mahindra, and while doing so is mistaken for the CBI Agent, ends up working for the assassins, and must assassinate Gayetri or end up losing his team of four fellow-bumblers, and Mahindra's daughter. What results is hilarious chaos, with no one knowing what the other is doing, and each one being each other's suspect(s). To make matters worse Jhunjhunwala is not really Seema's dad, but someone else with an ulterior motive.
Quietly competent young Joanna moves with her scatterbrain mother to a country village to take up her first job as District Nurse. She soon overcomes the suspicion of her patients used to someone rather older, while becoming romantically involved with a local farmer - at least until he tries to evict a newly-arrived expectant couple who park their caravan on his land.
Young Rosie Dixon starts her nurse training at St Adelaide's Hospital, but the student doctors and randy male patients just can't keep their hands off her.
Jean Lerat begins his military service at an army camp. Despite his auntâs attempts to pull a few strings to his advantage, the unfortunate Lerat manages to get on the wrong side of his bullying colonelâ¦
Vivian's family are penniless nomads, moving from one cheap flat to another in Beverly Hills so she and her brothers can attend the city's schools. Uncle Mickey sends them money to survive. When Mickey's daughter Rita runs away from an asylum, Vivian's dad offers shelter to her if Mickey will pay for a plush flat. Vivian must babysit her adult cousin, making sure she gets to nursing school and avoids pills and booze. But Vivian has her own problems: she's curious about sex, likes an older neighbor kid, has inherited her mother's ample breasts, and wants a family that doesn't embarrass her. Can she help Rita, keep Uncle Mickey happy, and feel OK about her body and her family?
In a remote corner of England's Peak District, a mysterious skull is unearthed. But even weirder is that Lady Sylvia steals the skull for use in worshiping - very erotically - her pagan god, The White Worm, who hungers for the taste of virginal flesh.
Tommy has lost his job, his love and his life. He lives in a small apartment above the Trees Lounge, a bar which he frequents along with a few other regulars without lives. He gets a job driving an ice cream truck and ends up getting involved with the seventeen year old niece of his ex-girlfriend. This gets him into serious trouble with her father.
Two friends get drunk and decide to switch identities. One is a Parliamentary Secretary, and the other is the captain of a ship. The former's lack of sea knowledge causes several catastrophes, including torpedoing the First Lord of The Admiralty. The grass is always greener.... In this British comedy, two drunken comrades find out the truth of that saying when they decide to trade places for a while. One of the boozers is a public relations man who knows nothing about sailing, while the other is a captain for the Royal Navy. Comic mayhem ensues as the hapless "captain" tries to run his ship and follow orders.
Social butterfly marries Park Avenue doctor and learns that his nurse is in love with him.
Popular Hong Kong actor-filmmaker Sammo Hung directed himself in this amusing action-comedy in which he stars as Rice Pot, a highly skilled pickpocket who falls in love with a beautiful female police inspector. The inspector (Deanie Yip) decides that she will overlook Rice Pot's prodigious list of legal offenses if he steals a pouch from a gangster's courier (Peter Chan). Rice Pot's partner, Chimney (Frankie Chan), carries out the assignment, only to discover that the pouch contains a veritable trove of stolen diamonds. Before long, Rice Pot and Chimney are running for their lives from the mobsters, who are willing to kill to get the diamonds back.
Don Bolton is a movie star who can't stand loud noises. To evade the draft, he decides to get married...but falls for a colonel's daughter. By mistake, he and his two cronies enlist. In basic training, Don hopes to make a good impression on the fair Antoinette and her father, but his military career is largely slapstick. Will he ever get his corporal's stripes?
An elderly artist thinks he has become too stale and is past his prime. His friend (and agent) persuades him to go to an offshore island to try once more. On the island he re-discovers his muse in the form of a young girl.
A dentist invites a elderly patient to stay at his home to recover, unaware that he is a jewel thief. He plans to steal a valuable diamond but then runs into a beautiful nurse who, aside from constantly stripping nude, has plans of her own.
A story about a singer/showgirl who poses as a nurse to recover some stolen paintings, which for some reason are hidden in a military insane asylum.
In a remote fortress, a sinister sorority of surgically skilled sisters lie in wait of their next victim. They control a bevy of caged women who have been brain washed and sponge-batherto become the worlds most anatomically awesome surgeons. This is the git-wrenching story of one innocent girl, Sabrina, who finds herself trapped in a living nightmare. Captive to a slavery ring that is training an
The two lead roles (Liang Tien & Chang Ying) are in competition (never really explained why), teaching people lesson (including each other), but when the going gets tough, they join forces.
Kelly's Heroes is an offbeat 1970 war film about a group of World War II soldiers who go AWOL to rob a bank behind enemy lines. Directed by Brian G. Hutton, who also directed the 1968 World War II drama Where Eagles Dare.
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