Bernie (1996)
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Placed in a foster home that doesn't allow pets, 16-year-old Andi and her younger brother, Bruce, turn an abandoned hotel into a home for their dog. Soon other strays arrive, and the hotel becomes a haven for every orphaned canine in town. But the kids have to do some quick thinking to keep the cops off their tails.
The story depicts two star-crossed lovers: Marcus Hanson (Mario Maurer), a Thai superstar, and Joey Hermosa (Erich Gonzales), a Filipina baker. When Marcus decides to fly to Philippines to escape from his career, he meets Joey. Even though their worlds collide, the two later fall in love. But their relationship is tested by conflicts from their worlds.
Four teens on the run from an orphanage spring a fellow orphan recently adopted by a rich family, then trash the whole house.
Julius and Vincent Benedict are the results of an experiment that would allow for the perfect child. Julius was planned and grows to athletic proportions. Vincent is an accident and is somewhat smaller in stature. Vincent is placed in an orphanage while Julius is taken to a south seas island and raised by philosophers. Vincent becomes the ultimate low life and is about to be killed by loan sharks.
While trying to save their childhood orphanage, Moe, Larry, and Curly inadvertently stumble into a murder plot and wind up starring in a reality TV show.
Calvin and his friends, who all live in an orphanage, find old shoes with the faded letters MJ connected to a powerline. One stormy night, they go to get the shoes when Calvin and the shoes are struck by lightning. Calvin now has unbelievable basketball powers and has the chance to play for the NBA.
Cherry Falls is a quiet little town - until the night that a serial killer begins preying on its youth. After a third teen is found slain, the killer's modus operandi emerges: the victims were all virgins. Sheriff Marken (Michael Biehn), is concerned for the safety of the teens in general and in particular his own daughter Jody (Brittany Murphy), who is still a virgin.Once the students realise that to save their skins they're going to have to lose their virginity now, a meet-and-mate party takes shape. Jody finds herself at the centre of the mystery and the mayhem. As the students' 'Pop Your Cherry' ball gets going off campus, Jody takes matters into her own hands, in more ways than one...
A bride's divorced parents find their old feelings for each other during the wedding reception and over the course of the next few days upsetting the newlywed's honeymoon.
Princess Jasmine grows tired of being forced to remain in the palace and she sneaks out into the marketplace in disguise where she meets street-urchin Aladdin and the two fall in love, although she may only marry a prince. After being thrown in jail, Aladdin and becomes embroiled in a plot to find a mysterious lamp with which the evil Jafar hopes to rule the land.
"Kickin' It Old Skool" revolves around a 12-year-old breakdancer, who in 1986 hits his head while performing at a talent show and as a result is comatose for 20 years. He awakens to find he is a grown man. With the mind and experience of a young kid, he attempts to revive his and his dance team's short-lived career with the hopes of helping support his parents' failing yogurt shop.
God decides to take a vacation - but, first, He has to find a saint who can rule the universe while He's away. For that, He goes to Brazil's northeast, where He believes there's a very good man for the job - but, during His mission, He becomes friend of a very smart young man.
Uncle Fester has been missing for 25 years. An evil doctor finds out and introduces a fake Fester in an attempt to get the Adams Family's money. The youngest daughter has some doubts about the new uncle Fester, but the fake uncle adapts very well to the strange family. Can the doctor carry out her evil plans and take over the Adams Family's fortune?
Mortimer Brewster is a newspaperman and author known for his diatribes against marriage. We watch him being married at city hall in the opening scene. Now all that is required is a quick trip home to tell Mortimer's two maiden aunts. While trying to break the news, he finds out his aunts' hobby; killing lonely old men and burying them in the cellar. It gets worse.
In this true story in the tiny, rural town of Carthage, TX, assistant funeral director Bernie Tiede was one of the town's most beloved residents. Everyone loved and appreciated Bernie, and it came as no surprise when he befriended Marjorie Nugent, an affluent widow who was as well known for her sour attitude as her fortune. Until that day news came that Marjorie Nugent had been dead for some time, and Bernie Tiede was being charged with the murder.
Everybody's favorite stiff is back! Working fools Larry Wilson and Richard Parker have uncovered a dirty, little secret: Their former boss, Bernie Lomax, embezzled $2 million and placed it in a safe deposit box in the Caribbean. Now, the boys are ready to go after the loot, but they can't do it alone -- they need poor Bernie's help. Can the buddies give their ex-boss new life?
Two former backup soul singers, Louis (Samuel L. Jackson) and Floyd (Bernie Mac) who have not spoken to each other in 20 years reluctantly agree to travel across the country together to a reunion concert to honor their recently deceased lead singer (John Legend). Cleo (Sharon Leal), a beautiful young woman who is believed to be Floyd's daughter, accompanies them as a new singer.
The fiancé of an African-American woman who's met with skepticism and suspicion from her father. Tension flares -- along with comedy -- when she takes him home for the all-important introduction, and as the wedding approaches, Dad must come to terms with his future son-in-law.
Two friends are invited for a weekend to a luxury island with their boss. The boss gets shot and nobody seems to notice, except for the two friends. In order not to become suspects of murder they treat the body as a puppet and make people believe he's still alive. The killer wants to do his job so when he is informed that the stiff is still alive he's got to shoot him again, and again, and again.
Bernie Laplante is having a rough time. He's divorced, his ex-wife hates him and has custody of their son, the cops are setting a trap for him, then to top it all, he loses a shoe whilst rescuing passengers of a crashed jet. Being a thief who is down on his luck, Bernie takes advantage of the crash, but then someone else claims credit for the rescue.
Henry Hackett is the editor of a New York City tabloid. He is a workaholic who loves his job, but the long hours and low pay are leading to discontent. Also, publisher Bernie White faces financial straits, and has hatchetman Alicia Clark, Henry's nemesis, impose unpopular cutbacks.
Sid and Bernie keep having their amorous intentions snubbed by their girlfriends Joan and Anthea, so when they decide to take them on a holiday to Paradise Camp, they think they're off to a nudist colony - but they couldn't be more wrong, and meet up with the weirdest bunch of campers you can imagine! Coach-loads of sex-starved schoolgirls and a party of hippies all add to the laughs.
I AIN'T SCARED OF YOU is a documentary tribute to Bernie Mac (1957-2008). From his stand-up in underground Chicago comedy clubs to the Big Screen in Hollywood, Bernie Mac's sharp tongue and heart of gold resonated with millions of fans throughout his career.This film revisits much of his work through exclusive recordings of early stand-up, featured scenes from his film and TV appearances, and interviews with his co-stars, including Samuel L. Jackson, Cameron Diaz, Chris Rock, and many more. Testimonials from friends and family offer colorful anecdotes about Bernie Mac, from his practical jokes to his strong appreciation for manicures, and paint a vivid picture of who he was as an actor-comedian, husband, father, and friend.
Charlie and Dan have been best friends and business partners for thirty years; their Manhattan public relations firm is on the verge of a huge business deal with a Japanese company. With two weeks to sew up the contract, Dan gets a surprise: a woman he married on a drunken impulse nearly nine years before (annulled the next day) shows up to tell him he's the father of her twins, now seven, and she'll be in jail for 14 days for a political protest. Dan volunteers to keep the tykes, although he's up tight and clueless. With Charlie's help is there any way they can be dad and uncle, meet the kids' expectations, and still land the account?
A miserable conman and his partner pose as Santa and his Little Helper to rob department stores on Christmas Eve. But they run into problems when the conman befriends a troubled kid, and the security boss discovers the plot.
Aging baseball star who goes by the nickname, Mr. 3000, finds out many years after retirement that he didn't quite reach 3,000 hits. Now at age 47 he's back to try and reach that goal.
An orphan in a facility run by the mean Miss Hannigan (Carol Burnett), Annie (Aileen Quinn) believes that her parents left her there by mistake. When a rich man named Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks (Albert Finney) decides to let an orphan live at his home to promote his image, Annie is selected. While Annie gets accustomed to living in Warbucks' mansion, she still longs to meet her parents. So Warbucks announces a search for them and a reward, which brings out many frauds.
The Original Kings of Comedy achieves the seemingly impossible task of capturing the rollicking and sly comedy routines of stand-up and sitcom vets Steve Harvey, D.L. Hughley, Cedric the Entertainer, and Bernie Mac and the magic of experiencing a live concert show. Director Spike Lee and his crew plant a multitude of cameras in a packed stadium and onstage (as well as backstage, as they follow the comedians) to catch the vivid immediacy of the show, which is as much about the audience as it is about the jokes.
Identical 9-year-olds from very different backgrounds: orphaned Amanda and wealthy Alyssa meet at summer camp and decide to switch places -- and play matchmaker between Alyssa's dad, Roger, and the kind social worker who cares for Amanda.
A boy's barmitzvah looks set to be a disaster when it coincides with the 1966 World Cup Final.
The old age pensioners that left at the end of the first film come back to earth to visit their relatives. Will they all decide to go back to the planet where no-one grows old, or will they be tempted to stay back on earth, or will they?
Just before bounty hunter Charile triggers his gun to destroy the last two Critter-eggs, he gets a message that it would be illegal to extinguish the race from the galaxy. He's sent a transporter where he puts the eggs - unfortunately the transporter takes him with it and then gets lost in space.
Pete, a young orphan, runs away to a Maine fishing town with his best friend--a lovable, sometimes invisible dragon named Elliott! When they are taken in by a kind lighthouse keeper, Nora (Helen Reddy), and her father (Mickey Rooney), Elliott's prank playing lands them in big trouble. Then, when crooked salesmen try to capture Elliott for their own gain, Pete must attempt a daring rescue.
A group of aliens return to earth to take back some cocoons of their people they left behind from an earlier trip. They kept the recovered cocoons in the swimming pool of a house they rented in a small Florida town. Their mission is hampered by a number of old people from an elderly home nearby, who have been secretly using the pool and discovering the unusual power of these cocoons.
A comedy about a zookeeper who might be great with animals, but he doesn't know anything about the birds and the bees. The man can't find love, so he decides to quit his job at the zoo, but his animal friends try to stop him and teach him that Mother Nature knows best when it comes to love.
A man and woman meet and try to have a romantic affair, despite their personal problems and the interference of their disapproving friends.
Eleven-year-old Annie has been living in an orphanage her whole life run by cruel Miss Hannigan. After unsuccessful escape attempts, Grace Farrell comes to take the child home to live two weeks with billionaire Oliver Warbucks during Christmas.
The third installment in the successful Bad Ass action-comedy franchise. Bad Asses on the Bayou reunites the dynamic duo, Frank Vega (Danny Trejo) and Bernie Pope (Danny Glover), as they travel to Louisiana to attend the wedding of their dear friend Carmen Gutierrez (Loni Love). What was pictured as a wedding weekend escape to the south turns violently ugly as madness and mayhem ensue, pressing our senior heroes to once again serve justice.
Cheated on, mistreated and stepped on, the women are holding their breath, waiting for the elusive "good man" to break a string of less-than-stellar lovers. Friends and confidants Vannah, Bernie, Glo and Robin talk it all out, determined to find a better way to breathe.
Set in Haven Hospital where a certain men's ward is causing more havoc than the whole hospital put together. The formidable Matron's debut gives the patients a chill every time she walks past, with only Reckitt standing up to her. There's a colonel who is a constant nuisance, a bumbling nurse, a romance between Ted York and Nurse Denton, and Bell who wants his bunion removed straight away, so after drinking alcohol, the men decide to remove the bunion themselves!
Invisible aliens in a tiny flying saucer come to Earth looking for heroin. They land on top of a New York apartment inhabited by a drug dealer and her female, androgynous, bisexual nymphomaniac lover, a fashion model. The aliens soon find the human pheromones created in the brain during orgasm preferable to heroin, and the model's casual sex partners begin to disappear.
Champak Chaturvedi runs a theatrical troupe in India. He hires two men, Bunty - a graduate in Arts, and Babla- who cannot read nor write English. One has to play the role of the play's hero, while one the villain. Both men end up squabbling with each other, as both want the hero's part. Then Champak finds out that Bunty has molested the play's heroine, Anjali, and punishes him. The group gets a contract to stage 30 plays in Britain, however, on the day of the departure, Anjali opts out, leaving Champak no alternative but to travel without a heroine, but hoping to recruit one while in Britain. Upon arrival, Babla sets about to find a suitable heroine from the Indian population, but Bunty beats him to it and recruits a woman named Munni.
Sergei and Simon have to deliver a suitcase full of heroin to Mikhalych or else they will be killed. There is one minor detail: the only problem-solving technique they are familiar with is a shot in the head. There are more than 20 Russian-movie stars in the film, but you will not be able to recognize them immediately since they are all in disguise.
In this reworking of Cinderella, orphaned Connie Harding is sent to live with her rich aunt and uncle after graduating from boarding school. She's hardly received with open arms, especially by her snobby cousin Barbara. When the entire family is invited to a major social ball, Barbara sees to it that Connie is forced to stay home. With the aid of her uncle, who acts as her fairy godfather, Connie makes it to the ball and meets her Prince Charming in Ted Drake, her cousin's boyfriend.
This parable looks at public reaction when the hair of an American war orphan mysteriously turns green.
A clairvoyant woman thinks that she's met her future husband because she's seen him in a dream. They marry and he takes her back to his butcher shop in New York city, where her powers tend to influence everyone she meets while working in the shop. Through her advice, she helps others and eventually finds the true man of her dreams.
A small group of friends experience relationships which grow and stumble, involving everything from straight, gay, lesbian, and bisexual relationships. The speed with which these relationships last leads to the Goldfish memory effect, the belief that a Goldfish only has a 3 second memory is a metaphor for the transient nature of the characters relationships.
Torrente, The Stupid Arm of The Law by Santiago Segura stars Javier Cámara as a corrupt, poor, delusional, sexist, egocentric, drunk and right-winged Madrid cop named Torrente. This over the top comedy shows Torrente on his search for heroin drug dealers and the outrageous characters he passes on his way. A cult film and one of the funniest Spanish films was the most successful box-office film.
This movie follows a day in the life of two Dublin Heroin addicts, Adam and Paul. Adam is the taller and slightly smarter of the two while Paul is his sidekick. Since they were small boys, Adam and Paul have withered into two hopeless, desperate Dublin junkies, tied together by habit and necessity.
In Blythe, California, a small town in the remote California desert, Ethan Inglebrink is an eccentric, agoraphobic heroin addict who is obsessed with his garden. This dark comedy follows the last days of Ethan's life as he struggles to find purpose at a time when it might be too late to even matter.
A sex-addicted con-man pays for his mother's hospital bills by playing on the sympathies of those who rescue him from choking to death.
A romantic comedy that brings together three disparate characters who are learning to face a challenging and often confusing world as they struggle together against a common demon: sex addiction.
Just moments before his third wedding, Zahedi relates with utter sincerity and astonishing candor his obsession with prostitutes. He retraces his romantic and sexual history, including his ideological commitment to open relationships, that led to two disastrous marriages and several very pissed off ex-girlfriends. I Am a Sex Addict is Zahedi's unique brand of comedy at its confessional best.
Mark Tobias had it all: a good job, a beautiful wife, and a particularly unhealthy addiction to pornography. His wife, Felice, finally got fed up with the competition and left him, causing Markâs addiction to spiral out of control, until one day he was caught with his pants downâliterally.
Julia Sweeney's third autobiographical monologue, Letting Go of God takes the audience through her Catholic upbringing and how personal events in her life and that of her family led her to a disbelief in a personal universal deity.
Two co-dependent sisters, a recovering sex addict and a lonely lesbian who work as hotel maids in Fresno, go to ludicrous lengths to cover up an accidental crime.
The devil has a stye in his eye, caused by the purity of a vicar's daughter. To get rid of it, he sends Don Juan up from hell to seduce the 20 year old Britt-Marie and to rob her of her virginity and her belief in love. She however can resist him and things get even turned around when Don Juan falls in love with her. The fact that he feels love for the first time now, makes him even less attractive to her and Don Juan returns to hell.
Herman has a weakness for strip clubs. Donny has a thing for condiments and Tiffany is a newly celibate martial artist. These are Andy's new friends after he unsuspectingly follows his dream girl into a sexual addiction recovery group. At first this seems like the best possible news! However, Andy's professional and personal life begins to unravel as he deepens his ties to this lovable, but damaged group.
After getting into a car accident while drunk on the day of her sister's wedding, Gwen Cummings is given a choice between prison or a rehab center. She chooses rehab, but is extremely resistant to taking part in any of the treatment programs they have to offer, refusing to admit that she has an alcohol addiction.
Sylvia Stickles runs a convenience store with her husband and mother-in-law. One day, Sylvia is hit on the head and transforms from an uptight prude to a sex-crazed lunatic. As she goes on a rampage through town, Sylvia attracts the attention of Ray Ray, a sexual healer and tow truck driver in search of the world's greatest orgasm. Their sexual revolution, however, causes a class war in their tiny Baltimore community.
Ten years after the first American Pie movie, three new hapless virgins discover the Bible hidden in the school library at East Great Falls High. Unfortunately for them, the book is ruined, and with incomplete advice, the Bible leads them on a hilarious journey to lose their virginity.
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